Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize