I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
