STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
