do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
why do cheetos always look like penises
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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