so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
