Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
