I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
