There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
