i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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