My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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