She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
