you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
