I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
