The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
