what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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