Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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