dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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