I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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