Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
