I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
