i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
