Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
