Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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