so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
