Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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