now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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