Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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