YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
