i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The Olympian is in my bed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
