the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
