Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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