sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
