I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
