where am i from again
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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