dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
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