Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
