took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
