I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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