the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
