Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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