Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
