so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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