That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
