Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
