Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
