She said her name was "party"
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I could fuck to npr.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
