Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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