FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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