just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She's the barista slut.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO