What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.