It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.