Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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