I feel like abortions should bother me more
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
