i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
