Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I understand Curling. That high.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
