Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
