i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
