y did u give ur computer a hand job?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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