now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize